Has he stopped returning your calls as fast as he used to? Has it become harder than navigating Google + to get him to meet up for drinks? Did he all of a sudden get loads of over time hours like a boss? Of course something has changed and the answer may not be heart warming. When things like this occur before looking for an external reason, it’s important to check yourself. Simply put, what have you been doing to cause this? Sometimes without realizing it, women push men miles away from them. Learn how to avoid these pesky little errors in love today for good.
1. The Bill Collector Syndrome
Do you initiate all calls and texts to him more than twice a day? Texting is harder to gauge for acceptable volumes when dating. If you call this guy like you work for a bill collection company and he’s late on payments, you are doing too much. Men like to miss the women they are interested in. They feel drawn to the woman who is not easy to conquer. If you contact him constantly it will quickly go from sweet to annoying, eventually pushing him away.
How to Flip This: If you can honestly admit you are suffering from Bill Collector Syndrome commit to relaxing a bit. It is totally okay to think of him a billion times a day, just don’t let him know it by calling every time you do. The time you spend apart only creates more things for the two of you to talk about later. Try only replying for the next little while. When he contacts you engage him with your sweetness. Let him be the chaser for a bit. It is fine to initiate the odd text, moderation is the KEY. Also be the first to end the conversation politely. Texting for an hour is excessive. “Enough to get a heads up but not enough to write a dissertation”…living by this will be your road to recovery.
2. Oprah Sofa Ambitions
Maybe as a little girl you always wanted to have a heart to heart with Oprah. You may have dreamed of telling her all about your horrible childhood and string of bad relationships. This is fine and I am not here to knock your therapy hustle. However, this guy is not Oprah and will never be. If you were abused as a child or a recovering alcoholic this is personal and sensitive information. You may be living by the mantra that talking about it is healing. This is effective but timing is everything with matters of this nature. The dating phase is a light and fun experience. You two are still getting to know one another and it should never feel like therapy on either end. If you told him some deep dark secrets about yourself or shady past as a drug mule..chances are it wasn’t well received. When things are exclusive or close to becoming so, it is fine to open up slowly. Too much, too soon can push a guy away.
How to Flip This: Keep it light and bright. If your life sucks take time to heal before dragging anyone into it. You want a whole and balanced man right? Well, men like this want the same in return. We all have problems and challenges to overcome in our lives. The last thing you want is for someone to make fun of you with their friends. You may think you are just bonding through the sharing experience, but that is not always the case. Take your time to peel back your layers and things will improve.
4. Giving it up ASAP
So you love how he poured it up, poured it up…showing you how he balled out? Maybe he was more on the conservative side and gave you that look, you know the one. So you decided to give him the red light special and that was that. Well hunnie, if you do this often enough you will experience the life of an undesired woman. Men like what they can have and love what they have to work hard to get. If you required minimal effort he will question your worth. Have you ever seen social experiments where researchers try to give total strangers a dollar bill? In this experiment they stand on a busy street and offer complete strangers a FREE dollar. Over 90% of the respondents refused the money all together and kept it moving. The reason is we are programmed to question anything that is too good to believe. We begin to associate it will a “catch” or bad thing. When you sleep with a man you are dating quickly, you run the risk of being treated like a lady of the night.
How to Fix this: Truly consider your own feelings and self-worth. Sex with a guy you don’t now much about can put you in some unsavory positions; sexually transmitted diseases, pregnancy and public humiliation are just a few of them. Remember, if he really does have forever potential what’s a few weeks or months in comparison of waiting? Dating can be tedious and may take meeting men to find the right one. Would it make you feel good to know you slept with all the men that didn’t measure up to your husband criteria? It sure makes one hell of a parting gift, but hands down is very undeserved. So many women are laying down without effort for men worldwide. These men are still single for that very reason. If you want to stand out from the pack of whores, don’t be one.
Written By: Natosh Monroe